What to do if you are bullied.
“Always
tell an adult. It's hard to
talk about serious things with adults
sometimes, but they can help put a stop to bullying. Tell an adult that
you
trust and can talk to—your parents, your teacher, your school
counselor, your
coach, your neighbor. If you've told a grown-up before and they haven't
done
anything about it, tell someone else. And if you're afraid to tell an
adult
that you have been bullied, get another person—like a friend
or a sister or
brother—to go with you. Having someone else there to support
you can make it a
lot less scary. Tell the adults exactly what has happened—who
did the bullying,
where and when it happened, how long it's been happening to you, and
how it's
making you feel. If you talk with an adult at your school, ask them
what they
will do to help stop the bullying. It is their job to help keep you
safe. Most
adults really care about bullying and will do everything they can to
help you.
Stay
in a group. Kids who bully like to pick on
kids who are by themselves
a lot— it's easier and they're more likely to get away with
their bad behavior.
If you spend more time with other kids, you may not be an easy
‘target’ and
you'll have others around to help you if you get into a difficult
situation!
If
it feels safe, try to stand up to the person who is bullying you. If
the person who is bullying you thinks you won't do anything about it,
they are
more likely to keep picking on you. This doesn't mean you should fight
back or
bully them back. Instead, tell the person bullying you that you don't
like it
and that they should stop! Keep it simple. You might just say,
‘Cut it out,
Miranda!,’ and then walk away. If possible, try to talk to
them in a calm
voice. Kids who bully often like to see that they can make you upset.
If you're
afraid to talk to the person who is bullying you by yourself, then you
might
want to ask someone else to be there with you. Kids who bully are more
likely
to listen, and less likely to bully you, when you're with someone and
not
alone. If you're not comfortable standing up to someone who has bullied
you,
that's definitely OK! Just walk away. But be sure to tell an adult.
If
you are being bullied on-line, don't reply. This
may actually make the bullying worse. Instead, be sure to tell a family
member
or another adult you trust. If possible, block any more communications
from
this person. (For example, it might be a good idea only to accept
messages from
people you know.) Save evidence of the bullying. If you get a nasty
e-mail,
print it out or save it so that you can show it to an adult.
Join
clubs or take part in activities where you'll meet other kids. Sometimes,
it can help to join clubs or take part in activities that interest you.
Think
about joining a sports team, taking an art class, or joining a scouting
group,
for example. You can meet other kids who share your interests and you
might
make some good friends!
What
NOT to do if you are bullied.
DON'T...
- think it's your fault. Nobody deserves to be
bullied!
- fight back or bully a person back. This probably
won't make things any better and it might get you into big trouble.
Besides, you should try to act better than the person who bullies you.
- keep it to yourself and just hope the bullying will
‘go away.’ It's normal to want to try to ignore
bullying and hope that it will stop—or hope that the person
will start to pick on someone else. But, often, bullying won't stop
until adults and other kids get involved. So, be sure to report the
bullying.
- skip school or avoid clubs or sports because you're
afraid of being bullied. Missing out on school or activities that you
enjoy isn't the answer. You have a right to be there!
- think that you're a ‘tattle
tale’ if you tell an adult that you've been bullied. Telling
is NOT tattling! It's the right thing to do.
- hurt yourself. Some kids who are bullied get so sad
and depressed that they may try to hurt themselves because they think
there is nothing else they can do. This definitely isn't the answer.
Talk with an adult immediately and tell them how you are feeling. They
can help stop the bullying” (United States Department of
Health and Human Services, 2007a).
What to do if you
witness bullying.
“... If
you see it happening to others, you
can help put a stop to it. In order to stop bullying, everyone needs to
lend a
hand and get involved! And even though it might be easier to stand by
and watch
(or try to ignore the bullying), just remember, we all need a little
help from
time to time! Think about how you might feel if the bullying was
happening to
YOU. There are all kinds of great things you can do to help. So the
next time
you see someone being bullied, try one (or more) of these ideas and
make a real
difference!
Report
the bullying to an adult.
Many kids who are
bullied are scared to tell an adult about it (especially a teacher or
principal), because they are afraid the person bullying them will find
out and
the bullying will just get worse. That's where you come in. Even if
it's a
little scary for you to tell an adult about bullying that you see, it's
the
right thing to do. It's not tattling—you're helping someone
out. Who should you
tell? You could tell your teacher, school counselor, school nurse,
parents,
coach, or any adult you feel comfortable talking with. It might be a
little
less scary if you ask a friend to go along with you. Be sure to tell
the adult
exactly what happened—who was bullied, who did the bullying,
and where and when
it happened. If you're not sure if another kid is being bullied but you
think
they probably are—it's good to report that, too. Most adults
really care about
bullying and will be VERY glad that you told them about it. If you told
an
adult and you don't think they did anything about the bullying (or if
it isn't
getting any better), find another adult to tell.
Support
someone who is being bullied.
Sometimes the best
thing you can do for a person who is being bullied is just to be there
for him
or her and be a friend. Whether this means agreeing to walk home with
him or
her after school, sitting with him or her on the bus or at lunch,
trying to
include him or her in your school or social activities, or just
spending some
time with him or her and trying to understand what he or she is going
through,
it will make a huge difference! Although these may seem like small
things to
you, they will show a kid who is being bullied that you care about him
or her
and the problems he or she is facing. And that can be a BIG help!
Stand
up to the person doing the bullying.
If you feel safe
doing this, tell a person who is bullying that what he or she is doing
is wrong
and that he or she should stop. Keep it simple. You could just say,
‘Ben, cut
it out. Nobody thinks that's funny.’ If you can, get some
friends to join you.
When kids who bully see that other kids don't think it's cool, they are
more
likely to stop. Just be sure you don't bully them back! It's not easy
to stand
up to kids who may be bigger and stronger than you or really popular,
so if
you're not comfortable doing this, that's OK. (But be sure to tell an
adult!)” (United States Department
of Health and Human Services, 2007b).
What to do if you bully others.
“If you
bully others, we're glad you're here. If you're not
sure if what you're doing is really bullying, then take ...
[this] quick
quiz [on Stop Bullying
Now!] that'll help you
decide. (But here's a hint: If you are hurting or threatening
others in some way and using your size, strength or popularity to do it
...
you're probably bullying someone!)
Hey
- let's face it, hurting and making others feel bad is NEVER cool. Just
admitting that you are doing things to harm others takes some guts. But
that's
not enough. Trying to find out what you should do to change the way
you're
acting ... now that's a step in the right direction! So check out these
tips
... they'll help you to start treating others with the respect they
deserve.
Think
about what you're doing ... and how it affects others.
If you think calling others names is really harmless, or if you think
pushing,
hitting or stealing from other kids is funny, you've forgotten what it
feels
like to be hurt yourself! Teasing, hitting, keeping others out of a
group - all
of these things harm someone. All of us have been hurt at one time or
another
and we all know how it feels - awful! So the next time you are about to
bully
someone:
- put yourself in their
shoes
- think about how it must make them
feel; and
- and just don't do it.
Talk to an adult. Making other people feel badly should never make you feel good. If it does, or if you're not really sure why you bully other kids, you need to talk to an adult about it. Even though you might think an adult won't understand, or that you'll get yourself into trouble, they can help! Whether it is your parent, a teacher or another trusted grown-up, you should tell an adult how you've been acting so that they help you deal with it. School counselors are also great people to talk to about how you feel and how to change the way you treat others” (United States Department of Health and Human Services, 2007c).
Try these out! ~