Summary		Main	Review
01-07	08-10	11-15	16-20	21-23

Summary

Bella Swan moves to the town of Forks, Washington to avoid having to deal with her newly re-married mother and her stepfather. She hates everything. At her new school she is immediately beloved by everyone and none of her female classmates seem to mind that their boyfriends want to dump them for her. Bella catches a look at all the pretty Cullens during lunch and at biology the prettiest of them all – Edward – acts like he really doesn’t like her when they have to sit next to each other in Biology. He still rescues her from being hit by a van in a parking lot though, and won’t answer Bella’s questions about: how he got from one end of the parking lot to the other that fast, and how he stopped the van with his hand.

Edward vanishes, and even though Bella hasn’t said more than three sentences to him, panics. A month later Edward pops up again going “so we cool right?” Bella gets assaulted when she goes to another town to go shopping, and Edward swoops in with his Volvo of great justice and rescues her. They have dinner, during which Edward lets slip he can read minds, and then proceeds with the first of many variations of this monologue: “I’m dangerous, go Bella go! Stay Bella stay!” Bella decides that even though this is the first real conversation they’ve had, she doesn’t care how dangerous Edward is. Edward’s reaction, “Is this bitch for real?”

Next day, roughly one month and a week or so after Bella arrived at Forks and only one day after they decided they don’t actually loathe each other, Edward drags Bella to the woods, admits he’s a vampire, and that he’s wanted to slaughter everyone around her so that way there’d be no witnesses when he snacks on her blood. Bella doesn’t care. Edward throws a vampire hissy fit, takes her to a meadow, and sparkles. Bella only finds him even more attractive. Edward further displays his lack of self control and unwillingness to take responsibility for his actions by telling Bella it will be up to her to avoid him, even though he has super speed, super strength, and super senses and has been stalking her. Bella doesn’t care. They spend the rest of the time laying in a meadow talking about how pretty the other is.

Bella gets introduced to Edward’s sparkly vampire family, all of which love her except for Rosalie, who seems to be the only one with any common sense. (“She’s a human Edward, how can this possibly end well if you two break up?”) Then there’s vampire baseball, the evil vampire James shows up and wants to eat Bella. Bella comes up with a plan to divert James. She, and two of Edwards vampire siblings go to Phoenix to wait this out. James nevertheless figures it out, lures Bella away from her vampire protectors – it never occurs to Bella that alerting her protectors might be a good idea - and proceeds to beat the snot out of her just enough that it’s scary when Edward swoops in for a Big Damn Heroes moment. Bella recovers enough that Edward takes her to the prom even though she doesn’t want to go. Oh, and Jacob shows up. The end.