Summary		Main		Review
01-05	06-10	11-15	16-20	21-25	26-Epilogue

Chapter 21
So Alice attempts to guilt Bella into having a wedding extravaganza, which Bella doesn’t want but we all know Bella will get because see: guilting. Bella is decked out with lots of camping gear because the weather is going to turn nasty. Edward carries her off to lay her a false trail, and then she’s handed over to Jacob who hits on her unrelentingly since he has to carry her – likely doing this in his human form for the sole purposes of being able to hit on her – and further reminding me that Edward isn’t the only jackass in this book. Once at the cave, Jacob and Bella are greeted by Edward, and Jacob slinks off to sulk because Bella didn’t give into his, “You know you want me” routine.

Chapter 22
So it’s really fricken cold – Bella’s getting hypothermia despite all her clothes and… and leaving her boots on? Didn’t any of these people know you’re not supposed to leave your boots on when you sleep in cold weather? It cuts off the blood circulation in your feet! Hell, I live in Florida and I know that!

Anyway, Jacob gets the bright idea to get in the covers and warm Bella up, although Edward growls a lot about it and Jacob has happy fantasy time which ticks Edward off to no end. They think Bella’s asleep when they start talking about how great she is and how they only want what’s best for her and for her to be happy. I laughed so hard through this part, especially when certain implications of this conversation came to light:

1. If not for the whole Vampire-Werewolf thing, Edward and Jacob might’ve gotten along.
2. If not for Bella they might have been friends.

Hear that sound in the distance? It sounds like the shriek of a thousand dieing moogles? That’s actually the noise of thousands of slash fangirls readying to spew out Jacob/Edward fanart. And fanfiction. Fanfiction which will probably be better written than this book.

Chapter 23
Right, so it’s the next morning and Jacob and Edward are back to being asses to each other, culminating in a near fight involving Jacob nearly landing on Bella and… actually, I’m not too sure how that worked but it ticked Edward off and Edward caused it. So Jacob goes back outside and Edward and Bella make with the disgustingly cutesy my-top-ten-favorite-days-involved-you talk, and Edward brings up that they’re engaged.

Outside, Jacob makes a sound like a dieing moogle and Bella realizes he was listening and feels like an awful person for, yanno, forgetting to tell Jacob (that she’s getting married) in light of a possible and immediate Death-By-Roving-Bands-Of-Vampires. Anyway, after Jacob heads off for le Battle Royale, Bella frets herself into a tizzy because even though everyone tells her the upcoming fight is going to be childsplay, yanno, she can’t take the word of people who are older, more experienced, and (in the case of Jasper) have done this before.

Her response to her hyper-emotional state is to send Edward off to bring Jacob back with only an hour or so to go, to apologize to him and… I dunno, explain herself. Because assuaging her guilty conscience is more important than making sure everyone is where they need to be so that injuries are at a minimum.

Edward manages to catch Jacob and bring him back in time, Bella does her babbling about how she’s an awful person and that she’s sorry for hurting him etc etc… and then Jacob does a full on face turn by saying he’s sorry for hurting her and the best way for him to fix this situation is to die in the upcoming battle.

Good lord, can we have someone not be suicidal for once?

Bella of course, flips her lid and has hysterics on the spot.

I had to take a break for this part. I put the book down, and for two weeks, I could not read any further because of the WTFery. I read the entirety of a different novel, learned CSS, and beat one or two videogames because I could not continue reading.

Now, the following must be read to be believed:

“You could ask me,” he suggested.

“Come back,” I whispered. How could he doubt that I meant it?

He shook his head, smiling again. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”

It took me a second to grasp what he was saying, and all the while he was looking at me with this superior expression — so sure of my reaction. As soon as the realization hit, though, I blurted out the words without stopping to count the cost.

“Will you kiss me, Jacob?”

His eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed suspiciously. “You’re bluffing.”

“Kiss me, Jacob. Kiss me, and then come back.”

The next four pages are about kissing Jacob. I skipped most of that. Bella realizes that OMG she loves Jacob as well as Edward – just not enough, which anyone with half a brain would go, “No duh.” The actual interesting part comes afterwards. Frankly, it’s actually one of the more decent pieces of writing so it’s worth showing off:

For one brief, never-ending second, an entirely different path expanded behind the lids of my tear-wet eyes. As if I were looking through the filter of Jacob’s thoughts, I could see exactly what I was going to give up, exactly what this new self-knowledge would not save me from losing. I could see Charlie and Renée mixed into a strange collage with Billy and Sam and La Push. I could see years passing, and meaning something as they passed, changing me. I could see the enormous red-brown wolf that I loved, always standing as protector if I needed him. For the tiniest fragment of that second, I saw the bobbing heads of two small, black-haired children, running away from me into the familiar forest. When they disappeared, they took the rest of the vision with them.

And then, quite distinctly, I felt the splintering along the fissure line in my heart as the smaller part wrenched itself away from the whole.

Chapter 24
Bella begs him not to go, Jacob goes wolfy and runs off for le battle royale. Bella feels like an awful, bad person. Edward attempts to be logical, but is shot down by Bella’s hysterical self loathing. Edward also points out that Jacob has no intention of making with a noble self sacrifice, and was just doing that to get Bella to kiss him. I personally find this funny as hell because Jacob is the only one not suicidal, but pissed that he’s a manipulative furry douche. Bella is rather pissed that Edward doesn’t seem to be willing to “fight for” her, which makes me wonder why Bella seems to feel like she’s the prize in some sort of werewolf-vampire tug-of-war.

Anyway, the fight at the meadow kicks off and Edward narrates what’s going on via reading Seth’s mind but lo! Victoria shows up! And she brought a friend! Edward attempts to psyche said friend out but it doesn’t work, and battle commences. Seth and Edward kick butt. Honestly, the battle is rather dull because Bella has ADD and can’t tell most of what’s going on anyway. She does however, do some fool-ass thing by scratching herself with a sharp rock in the hopes that the smell of her delicious blood distracts Victoria and her new whipping boy. Can’t tell if it actually mattered or not. But Edward does the traditional thing when killing Victoria and decapitates her. Seth has Victoria’s bitch in pieces.

Chapter 25
So Edward and Seth gather up the remains of Victoria and her bitch, toss them in a pile, and burn it all. Meanwhile, the fight down at the meadow has ended, although Jacob took a hard hit for Leah and needed some serious downtime. Bella fainted when she heard.

Weirdly enough, the Volturi finally decide to show up, with the world’s deadliest half-pint leading the show. There’s some half assing about, and Bree – the only newborn vampire to surrender – is killed off anyway even though Carlisle said no one would hurt her if she surrendered. Kudos Carlisle, you loose points.