spected the condition I was in, he got off, and after re-
pain that pierced me to the vitals, and awaked me to the
embraces without affecting struggles or anger; not that they,
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which young fellows would be too irresistible, too charming,
engag'd from the shirt, I saw, with wonder and surprise,
afterwards found (for I had never seen him before), who had
thick, indriven engine, sensible, at once, to the ravishing
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for the revels of the evening, I staid with Mrs. Cole till
with great gallantry, and handed me into the drawing room,
my emotions, and gave all my concern to reflections on what
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"As soon as she was gone, I told the maid I would go up
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In the close of the evening, I took care to have pre-
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him, that his mamma was gone out and would not return till
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At supper, after a great many arguments used to comfort
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out of the clouds: for he was young and perfectly handsome,
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tion! and which, together with its bottom dependence, the
that rather increased the flame there.
as he had thus pacified a passion which had too little re-
palpitating, speechless, unable to get off, and frightened,
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umphing in my double achievement of pleasure and revenge, I
a cane couch, with my work-basket for a pillow, were all
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receipt in full, very tenderly forc'd me to secure it, by
in looking at me was love, or desire; but his eyes, naturally
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been, on this as well as other occasions.
wide world; but, at length, an accident forc'd me on this
tolerably well, and you are very welcome to stay in the lodg-
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vating circumstances, though he was ignorant of them, since
whilst my fears of I did not well know what, made me no
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grace . . ." I was not "affectedly coy . . ." I should be
spurred on by sensations of a strange pleasure, I could not
being presently remounted, I once more felt the smooth hard
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from a neighbouring tavern, after which, and a gay glass
less as a statue.
for thinking, the maid came in with her mistress's service,
her face, which was now as red as scarlet, discover'd a pair
expressing more languor than resentment, that he could not
in form, for the ceremony of my reception into the sister-
teasing it to no end. Sometimes, in the furious excitations
waterborne, and dragging after him a fine head of hair,
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his senses, and, as much need as I had of spirits to sup-
Their dress too had the more design in it, the less it ap-
proposal, which I thought the finest that could be; and
I thought my governess too good a judge of these matters
step-father died and left my mother in tolerable circum-
Easily, then, reading in my eyes the full permission of
bosom, which, being at full liberty from the disorder of a
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the principles of their society, whatever pleasure was lost
share in my commerce with this handsome youth. The sole
the least alteration, outward or inwardly, to the most
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father, not to let you return and be spoil'd here."
well grown, to have better dispositions. He threw up my
in a coarse familiar style, and tone of authority, "hold up
consideration of what you reproach me with; and I own, too,
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short, a very good excuse for any woman's liking, even tho'
intolerable heat, my thighs disclose of themselves, and
fuse illumination, enliven'd by a light scarce inferior, and
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whimsical appetite's making a fling meal of neck-beef, for
desperate attempt at the age of fifteen. I had broken a
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should be no longer-lived! for now the point of pleasure,
of title to womanhood, that state I pin'd to be entr'd of,
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fullness was rather to the prejudice of that delicate slimness
not have known what to say.
I could not well distinguish the lineaments of, any farther
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laudable point I had in view, one day that I expected him
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rather rais'd more flame than its dry and insignificant
hearts, tenderly and truly united, club to exalt the joy,
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me to perfect composure; and delighted as I was with the
drenched; and neither they, nor the passage into which they
began to perceive that this work was but a paltry shallow
time to give up the argument, and that all further de-
sincerity of with proofs, and that with so brisk an action
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so loud, that I, who listened at the door, could scarce hear
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legs and arms, finer modell'd than which could not have
which, considering our figures and ages, could not have
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his sturdy rustic pressures wanted not their peculiar
that was, what we should say for ourselves, if we were
me constantly in exercise till dawn of morning; in all
quisite relish, the morsel that so deliciously ingorged it.
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At this so delicate and eloquent harangue, the gentle-
wanted so much to keep out of harm's way made me feel its
both; but tho' my blood rose at the sight of her, I supprest
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tears, in substance as follows: that I never had a single
length, such a breadth of animated ivory! perfectly well
stood less upon punctilio with than with these; for instance,
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strange tickling heat: there he pleas'd himself and me, by
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me; on which, though reluctantly, he put on his cloaths with
lived with Mr. H . . ., where she had made errands to sell
that flow'd plentifully to my relief, and choking up my
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its irritating touches, I guided gently, with my hand,
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rising perception of things in a new and pleasing light, I
to his birth and condition.
object had yet presented that could overcome the habitual
ness, he could not speak, but then his looks, his emotion,
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ousy, or competition of charms, to a common interest, and
from that sweet fury, that rage of active delight which
over to all its transports, and gave it the full possession
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besides that no mark of jealousy on his side induced in me
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who are as pale, as pretty, and almost as masculine as
mere woman, those effusions of pleasure, which, in the
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engaging circumstances of the sight and incendiary touch of
all, to say the plain truth, the dissipation and diversion
sure, a taste strongly constitutional to me, the talent of
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the landlady takes the candle and lights us to our apartment,
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to be owing to it, the inconceivable fondness this unknown
or curiosity to be better acquainted with it, I had, till
towards me, blushing, and almost trembling; for surely his
servant; and scarce eight and forty hours were gone round,
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have him admitted to my bed-side, or brought to me at my
gross'd by love, began to take ease, and to please itself
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me so faint with over-coming joy and pleasure that I fell
full range of a spacious lonely house and gardens, situate
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height of my fury I twisted my legs round his naked loins,
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at proper seasons, other customers to deal with, whom she
thing needful to their satisfaction was not at hand, and I
cloaths I had, and that, for the rest, I would pay her as
The gentleman, on his entering the room, made me a very
that it was scarce possible to get out, and make my way
was scarce twelve years old before that part which she
plies.
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distant trees over-topping the summit of a hill: then the
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and seeing nothing so very dreadful in its appearance, I
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she found untractable, or unwilling to comply with the rules
ignorant how, or by what means to effect it: but was it for
charmer, it was still with the tenderness and regret of
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dress, to which a certain spruce neatness seems peculiarly
afterwards), since the ungovernable rage of his passion was
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of having some how or other been the occasion of his dis-
their character and discretion. In short, this was the
way of restoring nature; but whether there was anything ex-
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some hopes that, instead of pressing me to a continuation,
Accordingly he went out and left me, when, a minute or
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"But these meditations only increas'd my disorder, and
and detain'd there by a power he could better account for
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occasions. I lay then at length panting for the imminent
Yet, had not my heart been thus pre-ingaged, Mr. H .
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I glow'd, and wanted even little of wishing for any man.
cry out nor the strength to disengage myself from his stren-
newal of those extremities which had thrown me, just before,
wards it; embolden'd too by my certainty of being at once
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care for my interest, hardly heard of in those of her pro-
his stiffness, which had scarce perceptibly remitted, being
I made him now sit down by me, and as he had gather'd
spit in his face; or had I been offer'd infinitely a greater
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as to see me again. He had irrevocably pornounc'd my doom,
was walking about with distempered strides, stamping in a
foundation for their living happily together.
capable of answering, took her up for breaking things in so
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young ravisher several times after, whom I now passionately
warmest force of imagination, charmed as I was to have any
sense of things did I perceive there, than when under my
that it was impossible; otherwise I should certainly have
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to be held cheap, were they, in their nature, to be bought
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a lady of birth and fortune, to whom, I have heard, he prov'd
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the BONNE BOUCHE of a duchess; and, to say the truth, my
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This was a prologue not unworthy of the revels that ensu'd.
that did not perfectly detest her keeper, and, of course,
then hurry'd off his cloaths, and leap'd into bed, having
yield all liberty to his hand: and now, a favourable move-
He made suppers at my lodgings, where he brought sev-
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my candor and ingenuity gave me some repugnance to: but not
"According to practical maxims of life, I ought to
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holds upon my inclinations as were not easily to be shaken
to get rid of all my troubles. Upon which, without waiting
with their uncommon distension, the ringlets press down,
my dear youth, which, though often suspended or diverted,
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me which had so long hunger'd for the dear morsel that now
The least delicate of all affairs of this sort being
like; to all which the blushing simpleton answer'd to my wish,
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of their due spirit and energy by the frequency they indis-
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seeing me extended on the bank, his first idea was that some
most tempting disorder: no stay, no hoop . . . no incum-
a stronger propensity to that cause of my being than I did.
heat of the weather too perhaps conspiring to exalt their
self-touching, self-enjoying, in fine, to all the means of
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of that sort, and that his constant generosity, politeness,
fore or have since seen, few indeed were the forms that
as yet, gave me any pleasure, or prevail'd over the aversion
to procure me at any rate, and that he had at length suc-
expedient that went but a little way to relieve me, and
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which having fully laved and solaced myself, I came out
hung out in vain, in a few minutes he was in a condition
forward, and might destroy. On the other hand, the provo-
in a rare alliance of pleasure with interest, and of a
head, and, driving with refreshed rage, breaks in, and plugs
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me to a certain point, and not to throw me into a state of
and easy.
a ruddy, healthy, firm-flesh'd country maid; and as for my
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thicket of curls, which covered his belly to the navel and
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"But how quick is the shift of passions from one extreme
In the outer parlour, or rather shop, sat three young
tions for desisting from pursuing his point that I should
for though nature had done such great matters for him in
behind me, could hardly betray any one's being there to
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but that part chiefly, by a kind of natural instinct,
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heart who dispute it! I could not see this amiable criminal,
love; a distinction it would be spoiling the pleasure of
fervid appetite of my motions, the soft oiled wards can no
that grew fainter and fainter, till at length it died away
worse, and as things turn'd out, probably nothing better
length, the warm and insufficient orifice; but he was made
woman, favoured my timorousness, which she look'd on as
by love, or other amusements.
tion, when pleasure dies by pleasure, and the mysterious
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rather confound and overlay than set off their beauty with;
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and streamed inexpressible sweetness, and nothing could be
ates, that the words JOYS, ARDOURS, TRANSPORTS, EXTASIES,
entry into me, which was not a little made easy to him by
port myself, I was obliged to employ them all to keep his
then to wait upon him in the dining room, into which my
cur'd of, and that was my modesty: this, they observ'd, might
consider what I should do. My first scheme, naturally, was
strayed that way with his gun, and heated by his sport, and
too far advanc'd to stop in so fair a way, and was indeed no
ing, as a just distinction from striking, which is ever a
I tossed and threw about my limbs in proportion to the dis-
stay the evening with me, and went out.
care to send my maid on an errand into the city, that I was
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after having agreed on this notable expedient, to one of
Finding then every thing in due tone and order, I
though he seemed greatly mov'd too, and took Will away with
he went, such measures were taken, by Mr. H . . .'s orders,
which time he made me fully sensible of the virtues of his
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myself up to the old insipid privy shifts of my self-viewing,
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my recovery, desir'd my landlady's good offices to introduce
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but I am so much in motion, that I could not if I would. I
could wish, he rose to my lips; and glewing his to them, made
not pretend to justify; but that as to the young man, he was
this, not a word of answer; I sat mute, confounded, terrify'd.
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first time in his life.
longer stand so effectual a picklock, but yield, and open
breath'd an air of decency, modesty and order.
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furious battering ram, whose ruby head, presenting nearest
off, I crept under the bed-cloaths, where I found the young
head, and left no partition but the intermediate hair on
was with me, and both ever too well disposed to baulk an
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colour'd prodigiously), and that my resentment at that,
time on hand before the assembly-hour, proposed that each
pletely sheathed; and which, crammed as it was, stretched,
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shaggy breast.
itself with less than realities, the strong yearnings, the
loose, and pointing it directly to the pouting-lipt mouth,
the pain melting fast away into pleasure. I abandon'd myself
saw me retriev'd into a condition of answering her purpose,
explanations with my landlady, or be impatient till he re-
The gentleman, however, no novice in affairs of this
charms of my new companions, I was too much prejudic'd in
belong to my character at that time, I confess, against my-
fears, and a passion so sudden as mine, to reason? All this
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ing, been taken home, and was not six years old when this
charges, nurse, etc., sum total twenty-three pounds, seven-
for your turn . . . You cannot, sure, demean yourself with
crowns the enjoyments of a mutual love-passion, where two
thoroughly abandoned the direction of all my steps. For Mrs.
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Louisa, the brunette whom I mentioned at first, now
long suffer me to languish under it. He acquainted me that,
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scene then in agitation, the actors of which had been too
than me when, having insinuated his hand under my petticoat
of me in which I had now taken him, all indriven, and com-
To all his speeches, however, I answer'd only in tears
emerged, before I fell into the swoon, in which, as he rose,
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him taking the last liberties with my servant-wench (here he
with the fiercest erection, unbonnetted, and displaying its
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favour of any proposal they could make, to much as hesitate
I expected then, but without wishing it, that he would
myself as such on the first good occasion, without prejudice,
and shape, left her nothing to envy in her fairer companions.
was only rest I wanted. This injunction probably prov'd of
ried to my heart, and thence to my new-discover'd sphere of
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perhaps would the beauties of the body be so much affected
of new face upon the town, that it was an established rule,
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remember'd my fears, only to make a jest of them to myself.
may."
or myself. In time, however, I thought I had gained a pro-
digious prize, when figuring to myself that my fingers were
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me, view'd me on all sides; and as my admission into this
to death by the idea of going to a prison, and, from a prin-
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first essay of the pleasures of the house. He saluted me
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"For you, spark, I shall, for your father's sake, take
one another by hear-say only; and finding me stretched on
consider'd me a partner that was bringing no despicable stock
been doing deepen'd yet the glowing of my cheeks, flushed
ticular orders to my landlady to see that I should want for
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nothing this long time, but truly I have a call to make up a
lov'd and who, tho' not of age to claim a small but indepen-
active force within, those of his waistband and fore-flap
of her's, she contented herself with a moderate living pro-
wearied and thrown me into a kind of unquiet sleep: for, if
sex, I suffer'd, tamely, whatever the gentleman pleased; who
him still, my fright and concern sunk me down in a deep
After dinner, Mrs. Cole, seconded by the young ladies,
it certainly was, I met with too much good will, I felt with
the fires of inflam'd nature, and his cheeks flush'd with a
their barbarity to me, in favour of a son, on whom only they
that of a very sightly gentleman, well made, about forty,
fear of again offending, he ventured to kiss my lips, which
instant, discharge my debt entirely to my landlady and give
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me, had given his friends the slip. He could not be above
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drink tea with us that very afternoon, when she hoped we
present before your eyes; the other give life to the colours
(in which every sense seem'd lost for a while, whilst, with
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ingly prepar'd him, that, had I known his dispositions, I
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myself into worse, or into better hands in all London: into
greater occasion to exclaim, by stooping down and slipping
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as we could, all the miseries, the follies, and imperti-
them in the highest contempt: they with whom the pure native
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pretty a piece of woman's meat as you could see, and I
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to my self and to all the terrors of an imagination, wounded
career; and he immediately drew out the sweet cause of my
My maid I had discharged the day before, not only
as he had kiss'd me, he rolled down the bed-cloaths, and
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like a hue-and-cry thro' every part of my body; I burnt,
preceding conflicts of mind I had suffer'd, and struck dumb
that great master of it) and greedily kiss'd. After
tageous proposals; but whether nature was slow in making me
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which was more than even I had asked for; man, in general,
my just hate, on his knees, bedewing my hand with his tears,
tion! so strict a fold! a suction so fierce! that gave and
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trimness; the fleshy pouting lips that had stood the brunt
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and state of things would hardly have passed upon one of Mr.
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to their centre, made me feel all their wantonness and
constitution, against the friendly efforts of death, which I
point of union; but when he backened to come on the fiercer,
at discretion: finding thus no repulse, and that every thing
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so much reason not to be overpleas'd with; and as for her
without.
done, his DEAREE gets up, drops her petticoats down, and
them, draw out eyes as forcibly as those that please us.
fortune that had happen'd to me, on which he had given par-
If I have delay'd the sequel of my history, it has been
posed the objection of the door and window being so situated
of necessity for me to go into bed: slipping then my cloaths
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upon the couch, as gave up to him, in full view, the whole
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avenue, the gates for unknown bliss to enter at, that I
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which these charming girls gave me all the marks of a welcome
pleasures of love a kind of necessary of life to me, having
I had now got down at most half a partridge, and three
he laid me down on the couch, and tried, as he protested in
way and completely triumphed over my virginity, as he might
when Mrs. Cole, presiding at the head of her club, gave me
on earth could be dearer to me than this rifler of my virgin
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as made me tremble for fear of a discovery from the condi-
of alertness. One day that we had dined at an acquaintance's
us go before him into the dining-room, trembling and dread-
toilet, where I was dressing; and by carelessly shewing or
animated their caresses.
kept Miss, my answer was modest, and often interrupted by my
stand fairer for the HEART OF THE HUNT?
dash him, he feels out, and seizes, gently, the center-spot
before him, easily gave him the impressions favourable to
of nature, unfolded to their best; and my desires had so
his eyes shut, and short quick breathing, he had yielded
could not bear the thought of, so much ashamed and con-
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immediately admitted to all the intimacies of the house; upon
sentence of death. Mr. H . . . looked sometimes at one,
soon banish'd all reserve; the conversation grew as lively
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upon me, that, turning as pale and faint as a criminal at
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of surprise and fear; and, in course, I should immediately
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the conveniencies of my short repose; for I was soon awaked
before her insolence, on what had pass'd between Mr. H . . .
violent disorder of my head, and a feverish heat, that in-
security for my gratitude, he would before my face, that
ourable gentleman, whose very honourable procuress she had
which lay as finely elevated as we could wish; my hips
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with tears in his eyes beseeching me to forgive him, and
alike his splitting me farther up, or his withdrawing; I
first with his handkerchief dried my tears as they ran down
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common sailor. As I grew up, under the eyes of my mother,
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without relenting. He was still stark-naked, but my modesty
All dispositions then made, not forgetting that of
taining him that happiness; but, that to shew me how much he
ingness of gross, rank and vulgar expressions, and the ridi-
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that your clearing that rascal there, is fair and honest in
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pass, which he had before found so open, and unguarded: but
made only a sort of awkward boidening resistance, crying out
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yields, and, stretch'd to its utmost bearing, by the stiff,
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to me could only make me happy; but then, the little like-
views, only stiffen'd her the more.
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ogy for this minute detail of things, that dwelt so strongly
The cruel and interested care taken to recover me sav'd
that stood in a corner of the dining room; to which the girl
with its impetuous girds and itching fires, led me such a
least of any. A dead still calm succeeded this storm, which
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my discovery till a safer season, when Mr. H . . . should
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insensibly into the overbearing white. Then her miniature
sometimes at the other, with a mixture of indignation and
of his ardours. Oh then! the fiery touch of his fingers
help asking him what that was for? He told me he would
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carry letters or messages between his master and me; and as
"As night drew on, it became us to look out for some
your head, child, and do not let sorrow spoil that pretty
ing at length to the insupportable irritations of the little
sudden sally of lust, on seeing a wholesome-looking, buxom
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own insipid handling! And now his waistcoat was unbuttoned,
neither offers nor expence to have procured myself the
press'd them tenderly to pass his pardon in the return of a
return'd to his master before he was missed; but, at taking
were, if not at an end, at least suspended: my heart, which
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said with a gentle whisper: "Pray, my dear, do not be
perfect rest and composure, it was not without some dread
had swam in. I lay stretching out, glowingly alive all over,
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cry out gently: "Oh! my dear, you hurt me!" This was
escape; which made dread, worse than death, the going back
shoe-buckles and a silver thimble. Thus equipp'd, with no
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have run out, had not my modesty, fatally for itself, inter-
sense of actual pleasure, the widen'd wounded passage refunded
solitude and seeming security of the attempt, he was not
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still there was something more wanting to create in me, and
when I was overtaken by a sturdy country lad who was going to
been in town not having afforded him one, was hitherto an
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flush with genial juices, was now fairly in for making me
catch'd at by our sex, than any other declarations whatever:
Mr. H . . ., so experienc'd, so learned in the ways of
most surprising circumstance of finding myself not only in
to run the risks of its disproportion to that tender part
inn or shelter; to which perplexity another was added, and
self, and all this by way of introduction to a most terrible
was entirely at Mr. H . . .'s devotion, and who let him the
Part 4
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their secret grief that it was no worse with me. Unaccount-
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and taste of things, infinitely superior to the being touched
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and disposed of me to a poor relation's in the country, to
tacit blushing consent all the gratifications of pleasure
point of swooning. My landlady, who wanted only to terrify
traordinary put into the wine, or whether there wanted no
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that a strict resemblance she fancied she saw in me to an
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the balsamic injection with which he had just plentifully
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Charles never appear'd to me in that light). I was instant-
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me again, and told me, in a tone compos'd to more pity and
the house, and, at all adventures, took the road to London.
murmur'd in so soft a tone, my eyes met his with such glances,
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the impetuosity of motion but encountering him with all
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a child she had by her first husband. I had, on that foot-
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I have not heard a syllable about them. My whole stock was
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eat myself. I obey'd with a heart full of affliction, at the
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shady recess, commodious to undress and leave his clothes
those parts, by plying them with the stream of a warm li-
the point of answering my pressing demands of present case;
aged discreet sort of woman, who had been brought into my
was to the losing of time. That she would, in the mean time,
the trinkets and articles of dress were lavishly heap'd
from his master, Mr. H . . ., to know how I did. I had taken
pleasures of enjoyment were now the link I held to him by:
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be averse to follow, since it was to him I was devolv'd in
row: our pleasure increasing deliciously, in proportion as
or span, almost renew'd my terrors.
delights of a practical instruction of all the pretty women
disown'd her procedure, and how far he was from taking any
thing else was as easy and commodious as one could desire.
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In the meantime, the soft strait passage gradually loosens,
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His hair trimly dressed, clean linen, and, above all,
smooth'd and re-pruned, had resumed its wonted curl and
uous embraces, before, urging his point, he had forced his
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to disturb, scarce gave himself or me breathing time from
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of my bed-chamber, a latch, that I governed by a wire, des-
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into it on the other side, which bordered on a wood, some
complained, and begg'd him to let me alone; told him I was
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of my whole body and soul; for now all thought was at an end
tions, such as had he a mistress? . . . was she prettier than
away, and wishing me a good night, went out of the room
thither by the madness of my fears for him, and the intense
that was to be occasionally cook'd up for the first proper
hands, that wandered not without design, I found he lan-
swim, as I could manage with the current of it; and what
hood; and in which, with all due reserve to my maidenhead,
her with him.
She had hardly time to get down-stairs before Mr. H .
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the candle; and the bitterness of the weather made it a kind
gristle forcing an entrance, which he achiev'd rather easier
and amusements. Nature now pointed me strongly to more
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if we had not that terrible fault to guard against.
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gave it the air of a flesh brush; and soon I felt it join-
breathings, faltering accents, eyes twinkling with humid
fictitious maidenhead, I should reap all the advantages of a
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tainly had not, against my being included in a jaunt that I
young gentleman was by me, kneeling, kissing my hand, and
ing and examining what nature assur'd me must be the chosen
himself and me warmer; and the heat I felt from joining our
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what? not the play-thing of a boy, not the weapon of a man,
an audacious defence of it, in the old style of a common
taught his first lesson of pleasure. Thus he nick'd, at
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the powers of my sight, on this bewitching object, when, in
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little silly, and taking out some money, gave it her, with
proceeding insensibly from freedom to freedom, insinuated
finding me so absolutely engag'd to another, he had lost all
and instructions of my new acquaintance, we went to dinner,
stiffly against me in random pushes, now above, now below,
objects, and too high mettled to be longer curb'd in by
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startled . . . I will be very tender and kind to you." He
liking for him was so extreme, that it was distinguishing
his hand above my garters: thence he strove to regain the
but a little while, made some excuse for not being able to
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but then I had not the least thought of harm. But, oh! how
longer able to contain myself, or wait the slower progress
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not to be easily over-ruled by her: after which she went on
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mounted them round his hips, and coming out with his drawn
ledge of him.
and the minutes being too precious to consume in untimely
own'd was a cruel plunge for one of my youth and beauty to
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with streaks of blood, the marks of the ravage of that montrous
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ever, a singular chance did at once the work of a long course
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and joy, at the new scenes of bliss I had opened to him:
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the manner in which she had conducted herself towards ob-
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will appear the more excusable, since I certainly was not
sigh, as if he had hurt me; on which he withdrew his curious
way to remark to you that it was late in the evening before
and buttoning up.
those hedge-accommodations for foot passengers, at the door
acquaintance with that mysterious mark, the cloven stamp of
then I could not put too much encouragement into my eyes and
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your cast of breeding and sentiments that I should enter
Though such a delicacy of sentiments did not extremely
us.
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I might have met with the worst of ruin if my better fate
ately catching gently hold of his shirt sleeve, drew him
face me, he soon began, after preparing me by all the en-
be put instantly to bed, whilst he gave certain orders to
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and scurvy epilogue: "You are now," says she, "Miss Fanny,
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of kisses, he drove the same course as before, with
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proposal in cold blood. But our virtues and our vices
the men, the distinction of the sexes.
Part 7
lay palpitating, till the ferment of my sense subsiding by
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endear'd him the more to me, and I could have joyfully suf-
"But now, by my own experience, I found it too true
along the bank to the house, without his seeing me: which I
selves the restorers of the golden age and its simplicity
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The tea was made, and the landlady, unwilling, I sup-
was no longer worthy of him. I could have begg'd my bread
brance whatever. On the other hand, he stood at a little
self-knowledge I could devise, in search of the pleasure that
The silky hair that covered round the borders, now
tification which was to follow unknown to me; and taking a
with me in my apartment, where we supped together, in giving
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far he would go, till I had no uncertainty upon my conscience.
to manage this nice point for me, if I would accept of her
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eagerness to his prey: when, finding me still entranced, he
and submission to it was my only part. Soon after he married
cate and modern-built frame of our pap-nerv'd softlings,
thoroughly destroy'd all modesty in me, that even their
more to revive the natural warmth of my constitution and
hands carelessly dropt; but then he employ'd such tender
profound sleep.
sion that obeys the will in those parts, but stole my hand
I had no disappointment to fear.
roll'd up to my waist, I threw myself into such a posture
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enough to make some merit of sacrificing it to the influence
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lodg'd, with a very sufficient allowance, and lighted up
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content, and that in a manner so precisely alike, and on the
myself a mischief.
Mr. H . . ., who had watched, perhaps brought on this
ments were in tune. This was a signal for preparation, that
which historical truth requires I should not sink from you,
show me if I would let him; and, without waiting for my
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of his maiden bashfulness (for such it seem'd, and really
that, split up, torn, bleeding, mangled, I was still supe-
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oily balsamic injection, mixing deliciously with the sluices
me asleep, had, as he afterwards told me, so fix'd and charm-
obey her implicitly; and, to do her justice, I never experi-
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her contingent, she smiled, blushed a little, and thus
as he was not quite sure that his first idea of this swoon
custom of the house, favoured with the preference of engag-
Mr. H . . . had clap'd a livery upon him; and his chief
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to my failure than I ought to have been; but as I never had
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which they thirstily express and draw in like the hot-
in the world (which she well knew) more than seven guineas,
maiden state for womanhood. The proposal was approv'd, with
ment of a rest we both wanted, and we soon dropped into a
the floor of which was overspread with a Turkey carpet, and
make it.
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week, of which I was instated mistress, with a maid to
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a lady? . . ., and, with that took, and carrying his hand
crushed and uncurl'd with the over-flowing moisture that
ving a death-like dejection in my countenance and still in
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natured leach, which to cool itself, tenaciously attracts
them, rather, with pleasure and gaiety, than with the least
to both our satisfactions, and that she would bring him to
black mossy tuft, out of which appeared to emerge a round,
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being a feint was not the very truth of the case: seduced
had, by insensibly shifting from the side to near the middle,
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my misfortunes, but that she must do herself justice, though
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At the same time, she desir'd me to tell her what course I
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humour'd. But he did not long abuse my patience, for the
leave the tender partner of my joys behind me, I employed
I gave a great scream, and drop'd my petticoat: the
might be so: there exist as slender motives of attachment
roused me just in time enough to be witness of a triumph I
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I opened the door into the dining room, where I found the
woman born and bred, but through a train of accidents
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down from my breast to that part of me where the sense of
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right against the tender opening, a favourable motion from
lihood there was of compassing an acquaintance with him, or
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est and freest with are ever those we like, not to say love,
Violent passions seldom last long, and those of women
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their persons, and unexceptionable in every respect; that
mendation, to their caresses and entertainment, went about
finally mighty thrust sheaths it up to the guard; on the in-
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apartments, where my neighbour, and now gouvernante, Mrs.
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in about half way, when all the most nervous activity he now
of folks, and wise enough to mind no more other people's
. . might probably have been the sole master of it; but
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sations in it, demolish'd at once all my girlish playthings
I had now liv'd near seven months with Mr. H . . .,
acquainted with a good many, besides some useful matrons,
guish'd for satisfying a curiosity, natural enough, to view
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vocations: be it sufficient that I allow you so much
rebellious disorder; but watch'd and overlook'd as I was, how
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more at his new liberty, he got under the bed-cloaths I held
thought was that so sweet a creature as this youth seemed
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but only such as Mrs. Cole was previously satisfied with
unabated fervour; and thus, in repeated engagements, kept
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neighbourhood, where I us'd to stay longer, I found the
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serpentines of its veins, altogether compos'd the most
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mony in my resistance than good earnest, he made his condi-
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The transported youth devour'd every thing with his eyes,
side, amidst all those extatic raptures, not unfamiliar I
perhaps more favourable to joy, more tenderly pleasing, than
Part 6
set in the arm-chair, my shift and petticoat up, my thighs
and tossing with burning impatience for the renewal of joys
it was to my concern for the preservation of his life that I
flocked to insult me with their malicious consolations.
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in my ears, the sensible nearness of so new and interesting
his mother at her apartment, where he had once before been,
the artless, natural stripling: his eyes streaming fire, his
trust to the candour of your judgement, for your allowing
reason on your side, as to have changed my resolutions, in
his grief for hurting me, and his reluctance at dislodging
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as my whole rage was levell'd at myself, no part of which I
passion of desire being now so strongly prompted by the
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the letter, which he held out, awkwardly enough, for me to
dignation than with fear and bashfulness at being used so
Aw'd and confounded as I was at seeing myself sur-
standers were to set an example, which he hoped I would not
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an instant, down he went. I had heard of such things as a
to heed much the pain that followed: I thought nothing too
owed my ruin.
compos'd and free.
till finding my illusion, I shut and squeez'd them together
of his purpose: for, whilst he hesitated there, the crisis
to have been cheaply off, if I had not push'd my revenge
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Mr. H . . ., on hearing what I said, hung his head a
threw into my voice and eyes, would have served to encourage
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self, that I perhaps too readily closed with a proposal which
for the time), the three young women, in a neat flowing
with the warmth of the late action, which, joined to the
my own conduct, and turned loose upon the town, to sink or
proceeded afresh to cleave and open to himself an entire
that was out of my reach; thus all only serv'd to enflame
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one day, after we had dined together, she congratulated me
cry out. But it was too late: he was too firm fix'd in the
flew open at a touch, when out IT started; and now, dis-
pleasure, or both. But then, she observ'd, as I was a kind
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its place, of which when I whisperingly inquired the reason,
white stockings, garter-lac'd livery, shoulder knot, alto-
of joy, when risen to its flood-mark.
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stood like criminals under examination; and beginning with
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or liking me the better for it, had the complaisance to in-
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state we had pretenced to. Whilst we were in this quandary,
languor, and the pleasures of love. Press'd to subscribe
into her hands, and came, at length, to regard, love, and
of myself to support the part of ignorance I had prescrib'd
of it perfectly beamy. His face, in the confusion I was in,
that light I then view'd him, applied himself to appease me,
of desire, I threw myself on the bed, spread my thighs
my affections.
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torn to pieces before I came to this age, as much through
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with ever the least motion or whirling eddy. I cannot say
kneeled down to (a politeness taught him by love alone,
stitution would, in the height of their humours style them-
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But what was yet more surprising, the owner of this
looks, and hastening to receive the seal of it from my lips,
tilio's, and this and that, but make your market while you
purely (for fortune I had notoriously none), several advan-
fortunes; how we came up to town together, where we lived
to conform to. Whilst I was edifying by these wholesome
easy to remark, even in their affected pity, their secret
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. . . and the sweet youth, overpower'd with the extasy, died
The fifty guineas promis'd me by Mr. H . . ., at his
step, I began to doubt whether it was not better to dissemble
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I proceed to give you Louisa's narrative as follows:
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able size of his weapon, tho' it was not as yet in above
But when, by certain motions, certain unquietnesses of his
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plentifully, with my tears, the face of the frightened youth,
who kept on the business, I could not but see, in her
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H . . .'s nicety and experience unaccounted for but by the
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thoughts of revenge; the very start of which idea restor'd
As love never had, so now revenge had no longer any
and my sighs seem'd to lighten me of a load that oppress'd
utter stranger. I tore my hair, wrung my hands, and beat
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should have ever known any man but Charles, I would have
attributed to me would not have had half the weight of that
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I bid him come towards me and give me his letter, at
taken even superfluous precautions against a discovery, our
This useful gentlewoman upon whose protection I now
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and lived up to the text, they did not enthusiastically set
clearance, at least much to the alleviation of his guilt, in
all its furniture voluptuously adapted to every demand of
action of it, I could, without check of awe or restraint,
He lay on the outside, where he kept the candles burning,
been cast, whilst his floating locks played over a neck and
bystander could not have help'd seeing all for love. And
of the collision of the sexes by a passive bodily effect,
he had gained me.
out with a smart tuck-up behind; new buckskin breeches, that,
to make his court to the usual vanity of our sex. Silks,
sufficiently satisfy'd me that my train had taken, and that
have had patience to see the whole scene through: I should
riorly pleas'd, and hugg'd the author of all this delicious
none, it ought to be suppos'd incapable of giving any. This
interim; for that nobody could be a greater enemy than she
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tions within me, and gorged and cramm'd, even to surfeit.
leave a sallow, washy, painted duchess on her own hands, for
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mistake the spot I wanted a playfellow in.
that Mrs. Cole, who had pick'd them as much for their temper
retain'd an air of grief, dejection, and languor, which
acquainted with him; do not you now stand upon your punc-
up the whole passage of that soft pleasure-conduit, where
of gaiety and joy which dictated their compliments, and
thought I had no longer a right to refuse the caresses of
farther, and repaid him, as exactly as I could for the soul
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the utmost tenderness to calm the transports of remorse and
earnestly employ'd to hear my opening my own door, from the
and taken care that I wanted for nothing: and as soon as she
depend too much on our circumstances; unexpectedly beset as
We soon got to the house appointed for me, which was
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strictness of his home-breeding, and the little time he had
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untying my hat-strings, I fancied I heard my maid Hannah's
that scene of bliss, in which the actors are generally too
do her best to find out a proper person, and would undertake
a degree of familiarity enough to regret the removal; but
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Hague, on affairs he could not refuse himself to, he would
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ungenerous advantage of my situation, and from exacting any
gaining a complete admission, which he was so regardful as
to his master by his fellow-servants, used to eye me in that
all this, I was far from happy; for, besides my regret for
cloth of our meeting mounts was now of real use to break
either to reject or grant his suit, as he was much above
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to my breasts, I prest it tenderly to them. They were now
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have held up.
on which the mutinous rogue seemed to swell, and gather a
to their ways; and provided the rent was duly paid, every
its sight, to give me a far more grateful one in its touch,
The evening was, in the mean time, so far advanc'd, that
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except, perhaps, a straggling cottage or so.
as a matter of course after what had pass'd.
cation seem'd too gross, too flagrant, not to give me some
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the gleamy warmth that shot from it made him feel that he
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at as he could do, who seemed eagerly disposed to keep the
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respect; and even less than the extreme tenderness which I
and glow in his cheeks: then certain slight squeezes by the
to fix their home there, during the stay of my beloved guest;
already hinted to you the graces of her person, than which
ing those tender globular reservoirs; the magic touch took
had wet every thing round it; in short, the different feel
let off so. The well breath'd youth, hot-mettled, and
myself, for having abused him in so unworthy a manner, with
was not extremely respected: the hands of the men went to
have perfected the settlement he had made overtures to me of,
man, who saw I look'd frighted and amaz'd, and indeed, in-
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nothing; and that, had he not been forc'd abroad to The
it was not now with his thoughts, but his actions, that my
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Cole, was ready with my landlord to receive me, to whom she
shop was shut, the academy open'd; the mask of mock-modesty
of love, forc'd a kind of grateful fondness something like
There was no stiffness, no reserve, no airs of pique, or
them were extremely fair, the eldest not above nineteen;
bed-chamber had a door, as is common enough. Whilst I was
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dear to pay for this the richest treat of the senses; so
the fairest play, I guided officiously with my hand this
leave, I forc'd him (for he had sentiments enough to refuse
trade with could hardly fail of procuring me a maintenance,
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choly despair, as my spirits could not yet recover from the
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ings, was possess'd of the only remedy that could reduce this
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the cant of the decent procuress, with which she saluted us
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solid diversions, while all the stings of desire settled so
nor severe, but cruelly indifferent, what I could say for
folding lips, the softness of which, yielding entry to any
those extremities, which all my looks, flushing and palpi-
assure her would wear off in time, and gave my suitors
what was that? why, that we should pass for husband and wife:
take, or put such a bulk out of sight. I stroked it gently,
to do him justice, he never gave me the least reason to
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house of accommodation in town: every thing being conducted
and told her my condition; adding that I would sell what few
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clipping close, shew'd the shape of a plump, well made thigh;
opened, that suffered so great a dilatation, betray'd any
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but delicacy itself incarnate, such was the symmetry of her
thou art; and to-morrow you shall set out, under the charge
with every article of conveniency and luxury; and above all,
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be of a good heart: Things, she said, would not be so bad
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curling hair round the root, through the jetty sprigs of
compact hard muscles, in short a system of namliness that
H . . ., from whom I concluded myself, as I really was,
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explain'd the mystery of my ruin, if not entirely to the
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fect unreserv'd agreement; and the next morning Mrs. Cole
whole story and every circumstance of my distress, which he
the small domestick flock, which my governess train'd up with
but they had been effectually brought to sacrifice all jeal-
The maid, as soon as I was lain down, took the candle
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Here began the usual tender preliminaries, as delicious,
was kneeling at my bed-side, and begging my pardon for his
or four glasses of wine, which he compelled me to drink by
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my breast like a mad-woman. But when my new master, for in
this furious engine to where my young novice was now to be
to me with messages, I manag'd so, as without affectation to
offering all the reparation in his power. It is certain
betray'd me into indiscretions fatal to my private fortune,
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Without adding to the guilt of my infidelity that of
assent: for, as he laughingly added, he fancied the instru-
The maid quitting the room, the gentleman insisted, with
fervent entreaties, protestations, and promises, I had not
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tears from me. I left, too, a letter of thanks for Mr.
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to find no breach impracticable, and mine, tho' so often
end which mere momentary desires generally terminate in,
"Here, in tranquillity and innocence, I grew up with-
for the past pain and the most pleasing expectations of
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pen and ink, which the landlady was prepar'd for, paid her
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mined about me, he would distinguish between the guilty and
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of me, which such an oversiz'd machine was very fit to lay
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By my direction, however, the head of his unwieldy
requir'd by the nicer judges of beauty; her eyes were blue,
gether compos'd a figure in which the beauties of pure flesh
London to see what he could do for himself there, and, like
favourable to his loosest wishes as if he had bespoke the
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replac'd myself in a posture to receive, at all risks, the
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got entire possession of me. On her side, she pretended
who live by their connexions with them), I hardly knew one
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feeling, till, growing a little too bold, he hurt me, and
and whispering to myself a kind of tacit vow of inconti-
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"My father was neither better nor worse than a miller
an assent; which, therefore, readily giving in the style of
lying in bed to receive him, when he was entered the door
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powerfully afflicted, he drew out his purse, and calling for
par'd for me a warm bath of aromatick and sweet herbs; in
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sure would take up time enough; and, from the people of the
for which he appeal'd to Mrs. Jones, there present, but
on one of his fingers, the lustre of which play'd in my eyes
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I suppose, nothing extremely severe in my looks to stop or
had ventured to approach, and finding me without sign of life,
with two and twenty guineas in it, being all he had about
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three beautifuller creatures could hardly be seen. Two of
richer far than that I have heard of some queen treating her
were, of course, no foundation for a love either very deli-
his outward form, and especially in that superb piece of
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Here, at the first sight of things, I found everything
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warmth into the innermost recesses of my body; every conduit
enjoyment, now grew, under the touch and examination of his
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extreme bashfulness, and utter inexperience, call'd for, at
was scarce possible for a girl, barely thirteen, but all and
and perhaps pre-acquainted with his secret excellencies,
does, to almost any distension soon recovers itself so as
furniture she had so liberally enrich'd him with; though he
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Whilst he was exposing his sentiments to me, I ventur'd
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life. Disengaging myself then from his embrace, I made him
with all the lustre of dress.
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boast of my birth, since I owe it to pure love, without
of stout, plump, substantial thighs, and tolerably white; he
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way encircled and begirt; and having drawn him home to me,
and childless aunt, housekeeper to my lord N . . ., at his
pleasing, with which nature has endowed a handsome person,
what advantage he pleas'd, I did not so much as know what he
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accomplish, I had still no notion of wronging mine; for,
without pleasure, behold, and even ventur'd to feel, such a
locked in one another's arms. Alas! that these delights
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head and ears into the stream I was hurried away by, to
resided in the favourite center of sense, and who was rul'd
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raise and ennoble him, to me, at least? Let who would,
But as the time approached for me to come to some
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them all, in approval of my docility and good nature. Now
my purpose, which I could perceive to sparkle in his eyes,
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pleasures, in the practice of which too, the choice familiars
moisten'd the whole internals of the passage. Redoubling,
In the order of our sitting, it was Harriet's turn to
fitted.
have broke in and play'd the jealous princess with a ven-
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their hands, in the silliness of those tender years I left
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shew'd he was lodg'd pretty much at large. After he had
about the room and whistling, as cool and unconcern'd as if
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the titillating ardours of that so sensible part made me
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and reliev'd by his absence.
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myself up, to indulge in solitude some tender meditation on
with more submission than anger, to leave me alone that I
wretched body: and, wanting life, spirits, or courage to
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of which, dedicated to that pleasure, was on flow to mix with
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life that I could neither night nor day be at peace with it
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into me, where, now myself too much melted to give it a dry
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wished it might be to mine; adding, withal, some flattering
took up scarce the space of a few moments. I had then just
had most plentifully drowned all thoughts of revenge in the
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ness of young girls once got upon the loose. But then she
is, however, certain; my heart never thoroughly forgave him
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a modest provision for life, when an accident happen'd which
the sisterhood, who had soon got wind of my misfortune,
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me, at first, exert myself to regain his affection, I was
disposed me too much to receive his embraces. He gave in to
breeding.
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touch of several parts of me which were unguardedly exposed
I was the rare production of the first essay of a journeyman
necessity, partly through choice, as never woman delighted
to stop him by throwing myself at his feet. He shook me off,
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bounded licentiousness; whilst a defiance of awe, modesty or
constant recruit (so she call'd those whom by her means,
I imagined, indeed, that you would have been cloy'd and
tener met with, purer, and more unsophisticate, that among
shore. My dreadful necessities, my gratitude, and above
I had it now, I felt it now, and, beginning to drive,
As to Mr. H . . ., he was so much my superior in every
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whose black sparkling eyes, and perfect harmony of features
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to the bed, on which laying me gently down, and having me at
gratitude I ow'd him. Thus he gain'd my esteem, though he
H . . ., for not appearing too much in the thing herself,
I could not long withstand that nameless impulse, which,
come to myself till I was rous'd out of it by a sense of
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could reach; proceeding with such a fury of passion, in
degrees, and the hour striking at which I was oblig'd to
and to your imagination and sensibility, the pleasing task
so: but was my condition, strictly consider'd one jot more
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with consummating his penetration. But the sight of the
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dowdy blowing the fire, and my faithful shepherd walking
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madness at myself with which I was seized, too late, I con-
"I now shunn'd all company in which there was no hopes
late at night: which I thought no bad hint; but as it prov'd,
ended in a profuse shower of tears.
ing thither; all my animal spirits then rush'd mechanically
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back, and he with me, in course, on the bed, upon which I
To these pupils then of hers, whom she had prepar'd,
justify me to myself for my compliance with a curiosity that
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that of broad sun-shine.
marry'd him: and I am sure there was, at least, one good
of the clear stream; so that presently stripping, he jump'd
hand, as I took letters from him, did his business compleatly.
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hope you will own I do not leave you in a worse condition
reign cordial; all my soft complainings were silenc'd, and
eminent service to me. As soon as I was got into the bed-
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and yielding to the force of the emotion, gave down, as
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of it. Thus had she insensibly formed a little family of
force of the present impressions, and he obtained of my
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his eyes lighten with joy, in seeing me in a situation as
think much more harm of going to bed with the young man than
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gles I could use, some of which only served to further his
high time to put a period to this.
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enough to return a curtsy to; when the landlady, taking upon
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not he could not unlock the twist of my thighs; I gently
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was consummately at the top of her profession, and dealt
slipt out and afforded a very commanding peep-hole to the
and blood appeared under no disgrace form the lowness of a
up for missionaries, and only indulg'd themselves in the
tion who it was. The rest you know.
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only whilst he fastened the door, he returned with redoubled
the arms of this very same young gentleman I had been so
in flow from me, sheath'd and blunted all the stings of
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home, where she consign'd me into the hands of an old
free, here is a worthy gentleman who has heard of your mis-
blabbing them. There is, then, a fatality in love, or have
it was easy to discover, in the superior warmth of that of
About eleven, in came Mrs. Jones, with two basins of
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shame. But when his hand, and touches, naturally attracted
his smooth beardless chin, I asked him if he was afraid of
now beside his point; till, burning with impatience from
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of soft springy flesh, that yielding sufficiently, as it
And here, Madam, I ought, perhaps, to make you an apol-
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slumber, I found my hand lock'd in that of a young man, who
that instrument of the mischief which was now, obviously
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ority to; but, with this lad, I was more on that level which
which was not belied by that of temper turned to indolence,
just arriv'd in town from college, and came familiarly to
to accompany her: the party was settled, when I do not know
often more solid and durable than those founded on much
in grief and despair, when my landlady came in, and obser-
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Presently a neat and elegant supper was introduc'd, and
change of diet.
could have bit my fingers, for representing it so ill. After
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finely furnish'd, and rais'd in flesh, so that, panting
sity there was for parting; which I felt as much displeasure
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observation of it, resuming its capacity to renew it, and
able to me, into convenient lodgings, where he would take
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since I was now over the bar, I thought, by plunging over
with enjoyment, and solacing in these so new delights; till
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branded with the names of guilt and shame.
acquainted me that there was a chapter to be held that night
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an object to me wrought so powerfully upon me, that, in the
with such trifles as Mr. H . . .'s liberal liking led him
corroding thoughts my heart had been a prey to ever since
eyes, the brilliancy of which gave her face more vivacity
too broad pieces of my grandmother's, a few shillings, silver
faction which leaves tiresome intervals, if not fill'd up
blooming youth; his hair, which was of a perfect shining
and fluttering like a poor wounded partridge, and ready to
thought of wronging him (which was true), till I had seen
and the third, much about that age, was a piquant brunette,
with their sparks, and acting their wanton pranks with un-
its skin, whose smooth polish and velvet softness might vie
sensible in her favourite passion, or that I had not seen
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how to evade lying together, which was so natural for the
very pretty figure, to whom I was to be indebted for the
fered any punishment he had not shared in. I water'd,
than I seem'd at present. I neither assented nor deny'd,
circumstances to do much for her; and yet, after all this
complete ascendant he had given her over him, passed me for
became of her afterwards, I know not; but generous as Mr.
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voice, excus'd me from speaking, very luckily, for I should
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all the moisture within its sphere of exsuction. Chiming
tired with uniformity of adventures and expressions, insep-
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serve his brawny structure, strong-made limbs, and rough
herself, and content with having settled the order of battle,
marriage; but this I know, it was scarce possible to inherit
"What shall I say? my emotions of fear and surprize
to become a more general good, with all the advantages re-
with that of the most delicate of our sex, and whose exqui-
occasion of obliging and humouring his young desires, I
ment giving my petticoats a toss, the avenue lay too fair,
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an air indifferent enough, bidding her be a good girl, and
that manhood he was so nobly stock'd with; and it now fell
sweets: he was every thing to me now. How we agreed to join
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so that decency made no intrenchment upon the most libertine
of pain however prevailing, from his prodigious size and
not without pain too did I deflower myself as far as it
nency, enters Mr. H . . . The consciousness of what I had
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nothing could be more exquisitely touching; I repeat touch-
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safest, politest, and, at the same time, the most thorough
and convey'd into a hackney-coach, it cost me but little
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soon created as unreserv'd a freedom and intimacy as if we
and elegant simplicity. These were the girls that compos'd
chair for him, and another for herself. All this while not
naturally follows the warm bath.
deep scarlet: tongue-tied with joy, rapture, and bashful-
stole softly to the door, where a knot in the wood had been
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minute's warning, that not to have done it would have been
by an open publick enjoyment, to see me broke of any taint
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cue of disappearing; no longer so fit for personal service
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one of his thighs between mine, opened them so as to make
indeed, but not so wonderful; for this young gentleman was
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Had I consider'd this escapade of Mr. H . . . in no
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sparkl'd with more joyous fires, and all his looks and mo-
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After having consum'd the morning in the endearments
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floor. My trunks were safely landed, and stow'd in my
till his departure should release me, I was greatly embar-
all imaginable tenderness. I was not seventeen, as I am
composing the disorder of my cloaths, employ'd himself with
of pleasure overtook him, and the close compressure of the
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on the side of sentiment was abundantly made up to the
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point, and at length an irresistible thrust murdered at once
no lengths in lewdness she would not advise me to go, in
of goods indeed! Then its dimensions, mocking either grasp
length breathless on the bed in an amorous melting trance.
Pursuing then his point, he soon, by violent, and, to me,
say nothing.
Here Louisa ended; and these little histories having
a hale, ruddy, wholesome country look, made him out as
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letters, arts, friends' entreaties that I employed within the
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into a discussion of the very great difference of the pro-
her age, and I, on account of my titular maidenhead, should
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so much out of my usual sense, so subdu'd by the present
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neither resistance nor compliance. I sat stock-still; and
nine tenths of the keepers in the town to make, and is, I
me; my countenance grew, if not cheerful, at least more
his cloaths were off in an instant; when, blushing still
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Applying it then to the minute opening, for such at that age
even unbounded debauchery, she did not take even a delight
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by its powerful instinct in taking pleasure by its right
handkerchief round the neck interpos'd its feeble barrier, it
which are by some styl'd the refinements, and by others the
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of action. Kisses however were snatch'd at times, or where a
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instrument of my revenge, I had down-right seduced him to
This continuation of that grateful stricture which is
of duration.
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senses in the poignancy of variety, and the charms of ease
so that it was neglected, and committed entirely to my aunt,
part, she made no other difference to my staying or going,
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and the confinement of the breeches burst through, when out
pause, waking, as it were, out of the trance of pleasure
enc'd at her hands other than a sincerity of tenderness, and
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Had I lov'd this man, it was not in nature for me to
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She told me, very coolly, that "she was indeed sorry for
him to me, and was as angry, at least, as I was shock'd, at
this solitary and last shift of pleasure, as extended me at
away to my new lodgings; and my moveables being soon pack'd,
of the engagement, were no longer swollen or moisture-
by the violence of my surprise, I had neither the power to
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just to look up to him, and observed his figure, which was
provoked without satisfying it: pursuing then its darling
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motive of her taking to me so affectionately as she did. It
two after, before I could recover myself into any composure
strong-hold of her VIRTUE, she, no doubt, thought it was
He advanc'd then to my bed-side, and whilst he fal-
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and embraces I could not refuse myself to. Yet he happily
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the situation of all kept ladies is not the fittest to
constitute the passion of love. Yet Will had very good
troduce at present, I cut short here."
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question'd. After some puzzle, the young fellow started a
only with customers of distinction: to answer the demands
a maid; they were not only too knowing, too much town-bred
give you a week's warning to go out of these lodgings;
lost all sense of the past injury. The young gentleman soon
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with any glare of dress or ornaments, such as silly women
of reserve or modesty, which they look'd on as the poison
one of them, observing that there would be a good deal of
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languor possest, and still maintain'd us motionless and fast
know my driver. As soon, then, as he had made a short
sions than our features or complexion, and the bent of
and her, gave me so fair an occasion to turn her away, at a
course of pleasure, in a natural burst of tender gratitude
street door open, and the maid of the house standing at it,
Mr. H . . ., whom no distinctions of that sort seemed
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hurried on; and I dare swear, walked a dozen miles before I
part, that nature had done enough for me, to set me above
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possible to his attempts, which were untoward enough, for
with the loss of my senses, and a mad-house.
visitation, so pleas'd was I with what I took to be a kind
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He was, however, so regardful as not to attempt the re-
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of my design'd retaliation upon Mr. H . . . of an obligation
and stiff staring truncheon, red-topt and rooted into a
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made me complain. Then he took my hand, which he guided,
united, and holding together by the band of common pleasures,
it in a character in low life; where, by the bye, it is of-
scent of his game, but unbroken to the sport: and, to carry
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having taken a solid sincere affection to me, he would begin
call'd a comely black man, with an air of distinction natural
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prove that the appearances of his vigour were not signs
Slipping then a pillow under me, that I might give him
preaching very pathetically the doctrine of passive obedience
tion of sentiments, so soften'd by this sight, that now,
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though by mere chance. I had not seen him: so that we knew
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when they wielded the battle-ax: whose race is now so
compliance with her customers; no schemes of pleasure, or
H . . ., that stood in the same circumstances and had done
wanton, and now enflam'd with passion, spoke a great deal
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I had pronounced his pardon in form; which after the most
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lain dormant or conceal'd, began to break out, and made me
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kiss so melting fiery, that the impression of it being car-
violent shocks they had receiv'd; and the accommodating
my hand thither, to inform myself of the state and posture
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my ever dear youth, and this forc'd situation, this new
he took me in his arms at all hazards, and carried me into
reconciling even all the refinements of taste and delicacy
with desire, they rose and fell, in quick heaves, under his
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stood with a stiffness! a hardness! an upward bent of erec-
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able invincible sympathies that, nevertheless, form the
letting him see, as if without meaning or design, sometimes
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love, in which the members found so sensibly their account,
reduc'd to this course, which she pursued, partly through
that of a plain tradesman who, on the score of interest,
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black, play'd to his face in natural side-curls, and was set
the pleasures I strongly perceiv'd the overture of, in feel-
draw, but was pleasantly disappointed: for he was not to be
arable from a subject of this sort, whose bottom, or ground-
had not thrown me into this safe and agreeable refuge."
him, who, I dare swear, thought himself very cheaply off.
liking I had contracted for him; and I was on the eve of
thoroughly refin'd and frittered away into the more deli-
and I might also say, grown under my constant touch and
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when bedtime came on, we had neither of us the courage to
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THE END OF THE FIRST LETTER
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time without speaking; at length we join'd company, and
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business than they could well help.
tions acknowledged excess of pleasure, which I now began to
myself with a jet under him, as commodious and open as
the shop, as he supposed, unperceiv'd, when finding me asleep,
constantly invoked to my relief and deliverance, but which
the innocent; and that, for the rest, I was entirely at his
feeling of them. My health return'd to me, though I still
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perhaps, as the crowning act of enjoyment itself; which they
so pleasingly attach'd to its conduit pipe, from which we
limbs, hugging myself for being thus revenged to my heart's
and alarmed by a flounce, and the noise of splashing in the
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touch: at this, the boy's eyes began to lighten with all
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took unutterable delight. We had now reach'd the closest
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than before. Pain'd, however, as I was, with his efforts of
with one of our dairy-wenches; nor had he, perhaps, any other
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this, and good-naturedly desisted. Soon after, an old lady
Its prodigious size made me shrink again; yet I could not,
abrupt a manner, as rather to shock than incline me to an
gave way, new desires and strange wishes took place, and I
I was then lying at length upon that very couch, the
suspicion or discovery might arise from thence, having every
quid that is itself the highest of all titillations, and
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than that there was a great deal of youth and freshness in
wanton eyes; or shewing, transparently, the glow and suf-
me some millinery ware, she had by degrees insinuated her-
a less difficult entrance than perhaps he had flatter'd him-
the pride of the house . . . and the like.
tions been observ'd, it must have belong'd to a young giant.
to go without me; but took particular care to see me safe
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then, and eager to unfold so alarming a mystery, playing, as
character of our sex for art, and went up to him with the
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question: glad, however, I was from my soul, that nothing
quiver'd again under the pressure; and now I had him every
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my heart not, and I could easier win upon myself to see how
fires, lunges more furious, and an increased stiffness,
the secrets of that dark and delicious deep: he opens the
of the necessity impos'd on our sex, to gather the first
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send him away, not without assurances of seeing him again,
more silly, more flat, more insipid and worthless, than,
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On the landing-place of the first pair of stairs, we
it was, appeared yet more fair from the effect of two black
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breasts, now round and plump, feeling that part of me I might
but still he would not quit his posture of submission, till
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before, taken into his service a tenant's son, just come out
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LETTER THE SECOND
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cabinet-maker on his master's maid: the consequence of which
H . . . , brother to the Earl of L . . . and that having, by
and give it a spirit and soul that bids defiance to that
and now, palpably mistress of nay size of man, and tri-
of her best friends, one of whom she had, according to the
now looking on myself as bought by the payment that had been
left by chance, of my dear Charles's common stock with me.
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