persuade me to accept them: "that the gentleman was violently
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rise to any one, not an idiot, on such a scene as I had just
market, was then left to Phoebe, who acquitted herself, if
did not a little set off the whiteness of a smooth skin; my
fortune if I would be a good girl and not stand in my own
the maid brought in the tea-equipage, and I had just hud-
self baulked of, by the failure of his powers: and this
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compressing the lips, then opening them again, with a finger
in the evening, after I was retired to my own apartment, and
tend love to his person, whilst to those who had not art or
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had been too warmly stir'd and fermented to subside without
refreshed. Phoebe was up before me, and asked me in the
a new fire that wanton'd through all my veins, but fix'd with
Phoebe's compliments, however, in which her own share
generosity. This unrighteous contract being thus settled,
termed it, completely.
proved me enlightened by education and a knowledge of the
confounded my ideas, as if those of that rank had been neces-
before remark'd, was barely turned of fifteen; my shape
when we were to be left alone; nor would he hearken to the
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beginning to fill; then made me walk, and took even a han-
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that I obviously excelled in. This is, I own, too strong of
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make a friend of the warmth of my constitution, in the
nothing more than maiden modesty, or at least the affec-
me to my rest, and I fell asleep, through pure weariness from
first strange hands were now busied in feeling, squeezing,
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his agreeing for me; concluding very wisely that such a place
in the first notions I had ever entertained concerning my
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was to be left entirely at the discretion of his liking and
This then was the monster to which my conscientious
light . . . that I should trust his honour . . . that I
the tea board was set, enters my venerable mistress, follow'd
his figure had not at all disposed me to thank him for; his
sembled nature, she had no reason but to promise herself all
premises, but also on immediate surrender to him, in case of
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that made him perfectly frightful, if not dangerous to women
her hands a-while, till, slipping down lower, over a smooth
my cheek to him; a mistake, which, if one, he immediately
fierce and fervent as ever I received from the other sex.
the art to mask my sentiments, I gave them no hopes of their
of those parts, and promised to spread a grateful shelter over
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house: it is the character of lust to be impatient, and his
fire fast enough; my teeth, which I ever carefully perserv'd,
Imagine to yourself a man rather past threescore, short
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At the same time, she presented me to another cousin of her
Thus they kept me pretty long at table, and about six
till that instant, the seat of the most insensible innocence.
and fortune, were I to suppress, through and affectation of
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found I will not say; but this I know, that the first sparks
riot in praises of this wonderful cousin, and how happy
familiar, found, it seems, in this exercise of her art to
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view, now well assured that she had, by her touches, suf-
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me as if I had worn nothing but the finest all my life-time;
glass too march'd pretty quick, with a view, I suppose, to
and somewhat assuaged the fire that rag'd all over me.
room by Phoebe, who stuck close to me, not leaving me alone
on being introduc'd to drink tea with me that afternoon,
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art! . . . What a happy man will he be that first makes a
melt and soften me for the purposes of my reception into that
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the rise and fall, the turn and whiteness of a bosom just
in a size and volume that full sufficiently distinguished
communication with the bad of our own sex, is often as fatal
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of enjoyments in the common road, perhaps too, a secret
place here to sketch you an unflatter'd picture.
and untam'd, having been scarce twenty-four hours in the
she felt it within her, she moved herself to and fro, with
at her proceedings, which she seasoned with repeated kisses
Here she took my hand, and in a transport carried it where
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vouring to detract from me, in points of person and figure
kiss that seemed to exhale her soul through her lips, she
momentary desire.
self praise; but should I not be ungrateful to nature, and
world.
me, and a hundred more at the compleat gratification of his
but then she had too much experience not to discover that my
stretchings, sighs, short heavings, all conspired to assure
parison...
of that moss, which nature has contrived at once for use and
person; which, be it said without vanity, was then tolerable
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no less than to be told of, if not chid for, my late rising,
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to which he only answer'd by gracious nods of approbation,
own degree, sure! So much had my aversion to that wretch's
more desire than modesty, whilst the candle, left (to be
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she had no reason to despair of a compliance, which more than
block not so readily to be removed, as suited the consum-
of such a fine gentleman for a husband? (fine gentleman, I
and, no doubt, flattered them infinitely more than had they
amination. Accordingly she made me stand up before him,
In the morning I awoke about ten, perfectly gay and
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fulness, and not being used to see company.
eyes that stared as if he was strangled; and out-mouth from
given birth to.
all the marks of which he still explained to be my bash-
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with child; yet, made as he was thus in mock of man, he was
as soft as silk, flowing down my neck in natural buckles, and
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that are most universally in request, I had, or at least my
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of my rustic dress than the awkward, untoward, taudry finery
my aversion had taken already such deep root in me, my heart
and exclamations, such as "Oh! what a charming creature thou
woman of you! . . . Oh! that I were a man for your sake! ...
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vanity forbade me to appeal from the decision of our sove-
to justify a taste for me, and of which it may not be out of
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invincible stupidity, or rather portentous innocence, that
answered her very naturally, that I had no thoughts of a hus-
can be imagin'd, and rather languishing than sparkling, ex-
me in a manner that gave me the utmost pain and confusion,
modesty to oppose its resistance to their progress, I should
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modesty, the mention of such valuable gifts?
had not only, in course, insisted on a previous sight of the
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band, but that if I was to choose one, it should be among my
I was tall, yet not too tall for my age, which, as I
or sense to oppose it. Even my glowing blushes expressed
smitten with me at first sight . . . that he would make my
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ous person which did not at all concern me, unless that my
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employer's succeeding, at least very easily, with me. The
At dinner, Mrs. Brown and Phoebe did nothing but run
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assaults.
I have not seen it enough . . . Let me kiss it once more
you will easily guess. But what a difference in the state
gone through; but to my shame be it confess'd, such was my
. . . ," with all such stuff as was fit to turn the head of
to those of waking real action.
too natural, too artless, to hide my childish joy at the
to him, and by his odious presence confirm'd me in all the
quick itself, in such a manner, that had she not proceeded
as I was in was of the hottest to trust the keeping of such
mation of their bargain, and sale of me.
whilst he look'd goats and monkies at me: for I sometimes
of kindling nature, the first ideas of pollution, were
eager stare, looked another way from pure horror and af-
luscious dreams, the transports of which are scarce inferior
always threw him into a fit of rage, which he wreak'd, as
dle from the rusticity of my gait, to inflame the inventory
stole a corner glance at him, and encountering his fiery,
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But, not contented with these outer posts, she now
change; a change, in the real truth, for much the worse,
narrowness of the unbroken passage refused it entrance to any
heart flutter'd with joy at the sight of a white lute-string,
After a sufficient length of dialogue, my bedfellow left
made that promise good. In short, all the points of beauty
that I could not conceal my strangeness to.
and, till then, unfelt pleasure. Every part of me was open
violence in that center appointed them by nature, where the
Phoebe, however, began to sift the state and pulses of
tation of it.
house, before whom my charms were to pass in review; for he
with the like broken expressions, interrupted by kisses as
between, till an "Oh!" express'd her hurting me, where the
caught by me that night; and that the acquaintance and
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and at length to force an introduction of a finger into the
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since I must have much better become the neat easy simplicity
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by insensible gradations that inflamed me beyond the power of
selves, or signify anything to the touch, employ'd and amus'd
For my part, I was transported, confused, and out of
mained to me after the expences of my journey.
myself; feelings so new were too much for me. My heated
have jump'd out of bed and cried for help against such strange
not well, at least perfectly to the satisfaction of every
to all which my answer did not, I can assure you, wrong my
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from the enjoyment of myself, she artfully sounded me on all
one who had prevented all doubt of her womanhood by conduct-
my own sex, some that were above denying me that justice,
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respect to all her cousinhood.
face was rather too ruddy, though its features were delicate,
attempts the main spot, and began to twitch, to insinuate,
spick-and-span new, a Brussels lace cap, braided shoes, and
my shift being turned up to my neck, whilst I had no power
kindest manner how I did, how I had rested, and if I was
Imagine to yourself, Madam, how my little coquette
liberty of thought; tears of pleasure gush'd from my eyes,
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and the shape a roundish oval, except where a pit on my chin
However, I was soon dismiss'd, and reconducted to my
coldness as they went.
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when I was agreeably disappointed by her compliments on my
eyes this springing BOSOM . . . Suffer me to kiss it . . .
reject all proposals of a delay, and my dreadful trial was
procuress's remonstrances, that I was not sufficiently pre-
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vanity arming him against any supposition of other than the
the violent emotions I had been led into, when nature (which
which she guided my hand easily received it; and as soon as
turn'd me round, unpinn'd my handkerchief, remark'd to him
thing but my impatience of seeing myself dress'd. When it
such a silly ignorant girl as I then was: but luckily here
to be fifty guineas peremptory for the liberty of attempting
was so strongly defended from him by my senses, that wanting
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break young girls, the gratification of one of those arbi-
ing the victim out for sacrifice, whilst I innocently attri-
allaying by some means or other) relieved me by one of those
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she hated men, or did not even prefer them to her own sex;
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the points necessary to govern the designs of my virtuous
to increase the confusion she saw I was in, at looking her
sentiments of detestation which his first appearance had
would be pleased to set me about. She smil'd; presently
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Her fingers play'd and strove to twine in the young tendrils
a perishable commodity in as a maidenhead.
were small, even and white; my bosom was finely rais'd, and
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her if she pleased I would get up, and begin any work she
hospitable house: and whilst she talked of the sex in general,
detestable: for ugly, and disagreeable, were terms too gentle
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one reason shewed her would be easily enough obtained of me;
delicately shaped! . . . Then this delicious down! Oh!
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suppose she called him, from his being daubed with lace). I
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punity: in consequence of which idea, he had lavish'd great
mistress on me, and by my answers, drawn from pure undis-
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the rest in proportion, all second-hand finery, and procured
pared and ripened for such an attack; that I was too green
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flower'd with silver, scoured indeed, but passed on me for
I did not yet open my eyes to Mrs. Brown's designs, and saw
thus fix'd, unknown to me, for that very evening.
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The flattering praises she intermingled with these in-
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in short, all the necessaries for rigging me out, as they
and at leisure to make such reflections as might naturally
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he was so eager to be put in possession, that he insisted
me, and seemed a little affronted that I had only presented
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and exposed to the licentious courses of her hands, which,
figure, I say, than which nothing could be more shocking or
He sat down fronting me, and all tea time kept ogling
parlour, where the old lady saluted me, and wished me joy
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pretence of keeping my money safe, got from me, without the
ficiently inflamed me for her purpose, she roll'd down
feasted as well as my touch . . . I must devour with my
few months before put forth and garnish'd the mount-pleasant
to innocence as all the seductions of the other. But to go
the bed-cloaths gently, and I saw myself stretched nak'd,
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common resistance of a maid on those occasions, made him
In the meantime, the extension of my limbs, languid
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this liquorish old goat, which I afterwards understood were
had doom'd me, and sent for me down purposely for his ex-
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but when she met with such occasions as this was, a satiety
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when in were brought two bundles of linen and wearing apparel:
Well then, dress'd I was, and little did it then enter
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The care of dressing, and tricking me out for the
. . . What firm, smooth, white flesh is here! . . . How
two more properly tusks than teeth, livid-lips, and breath
her freedom raised no other emotions but those of a strange,
of the same thing! . . . A spreading thicket of bushy curls
trary tastes, for which there is no accounting. Not that
into the room, and on my dropping a curtsy to him, saluted
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breeding; they were as simple and silly as they could wish,
ornament.
style), "and how vastly all the fine men would admire me!"
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least hesitation, the driblet (so I now call it) which re-
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particular fix'd aversion to that frightful cousin would be a
let me view the small, dear, tender cleft! . . . This is
cept on certain occasions, when I have been told they struck
whole body.
easiness, and warmth of constitution.
in dressing me was not forgot, did not a little confirm me
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bias, inclined her to make the most of pleasure, wherever
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Instead of which, her lascivious touches had lighted up
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she could find it, without distinction of sexes. In this
Mrs. Brown; who, I was forgetting to mention, had, under
fright, which he, doubtless in character, attributed to
We breakfasted, and the tea things were scarce removed,
that experienced wanton that I was more pleased than offended
much the greatest share in it, I was sent for down to the
my heart towards this monster, asking me how I should approve
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but what was it she could not see me silly enough to swallow?
own creation, an elderly gentleman, who got up, at my entry
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had far from a disagreeable effect; my eyes were as black as
seek in variety the provocative that was wanting to raise
sums on such wretches as could gain upon themselves to pre-
her sex, to me at least, who had never made any other com-
and ill-made, with a yellow cadaverous hue, great goggling
glass, in scarce self-admiration, since my new dress had by
sure not undesignedly) burning, threw a full light on my
sarily cast in the same mould that he was! But Phoebe was
Mother Brown had in the mean time agreed the terms with
close by that satyr, who came in grinning in a way peculiar
hideous figure indisposed me to all "fine gentlemen," and
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into my head that all this gay attire was no more than deck-
on. When Phoebe was restor'd to that calm, which I was far
and alarm'd senses were in a tumult that robbed me of all
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of my new cloaths, which she was not asham'd to say, fitted
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to hide all these treasures from me. My sight must be
so blind to his own staring deformities as to think himself
to whom all modes and devices of pleasure were known and
to a form to which I owe such singular blessings of pleasure
one might then discern rather the promise, than the actual
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like a lambent fire, ran over my whole body, and thaw'd all
owing any thing to stays; my hair was a glossy auburn, and
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imaginable success, so far as it depended on my ignorance,
corrected, by glewing his lips to mine, with an ardour which
My breasts, if it is not too bold a figure to call so
depth.
so rapid a friction that I presently withdrew it, wet and
like a jake's: then he had a peculiar ghastliness in his grin
ness; and, knowing no ill, I feared none, especially from
him to the pitch of enjoyment, which too he often saw him-
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Phoebe, herself, the hackney'd, thorough-bred Phoebe,
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track, she could just feel the soft silky down that had but a
not to be beat off so, but went on with her endeavours to
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the seat of the most exquisite sensation, and which had been,
I lay then all tame and passive as she could wish, whilst
was over, and I view'd myself in the glass, I was, no doubt,
the good Mrs. Brown, who had already a chapman for me in the
nothing in this titular cousin of hers but a shocking hide-
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two hard, firm, rising hillocks, that just began to shew them-
of my charms: in short, she omitted no point of jockeyship;
benefactress, who had long been his purveyor in this way,
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"No!" says Phoebe, "you must not, my sweet girl, think
growth, of the round, firm breasts, that in a little time
or three sighs, and heart-fetched Oh's! and giving me a
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clammy, when instantly Phoebe grew more composed, after two
born for pleasing, and that no woman could see him with im-
After some little time most agreeably spent before the
even brutally. Impotence, more than necessity, made him
minutes of the imminent attack.
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replaced the bed-cloaths over us. What pleasure she had
whilst others praised me yet more unsuspectedly, by endea-
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vasions, contributed also not a little to bribe my passive-
pure and fresh looks. I was "a bud of beauty" (this was her
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ing my hands to a pair of breasts that hung loosely down,
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patience to dissemble the horror it inspir'd, he behaved
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to convey a just idea of it.
marked the full-grown, complete woman. Then the cavity to
dled my cloaths on, when in waddled my mistress. I expected
that woman would be that he would favour with his addresses;
reign judges the men, who all, that I ever knew at least,
should be made for ever, and have a chariot to go abroad in
too much, I cannot bear it! . . . I must . . . I must . . ."